did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
