I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
