if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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