I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
