So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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