just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
