If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
