I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
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