Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
