your thong is hanging out like whoa
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
