I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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