I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
