sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I cut my penus on the lid.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
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