plz talk dirty to me
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
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