I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
