we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
