I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize