you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Randomize
