No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Blow job season was short but glorious.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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