So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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