I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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