since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
