then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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