Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
So much Jack, so little girl.
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