I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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