i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
