Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize
