I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
