Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
and she was petting her beer can
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
