he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I have already put on my inside pants.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
