everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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