Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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