I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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