I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
