i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
