is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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