so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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