Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
