You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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