It's like God shit irony all over that family
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
