I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize