ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
