he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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