Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
