i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize