I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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