So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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