it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
My cat gives me a boner
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
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it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
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BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going