I don't remember. Are we still dating?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Randomize
