We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.