Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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