we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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