I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
