Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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