it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Randomize
