yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
