talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
It's shark week go big or go home
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
