just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
