Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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