Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
