ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize