Where did you get a picture of my penis
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
