matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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