Cold hands, warm shart.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I will pee on everything he values.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
